I Don't Cry
by ShiawasenaKo
Summary: Rufus Shinra muses on his almighty rumor, that no one has ever seen him bleed or cry, and then reflects upon Reno.


Rufus once sent out a rumor that no one had ever seen him bleed or cry. The bleeding thing was a lie. He'd been shot once, and someone had debunked that rumor…

_He remembered holding up the gun to the woman's head. She wasn't a spy. She wasn't a threat really… Pregnant 6 months. Unfortunately, she had the misfortune of overhearing a certain horrible situation. It really wasn't her fault. Wrong place at the wrong time._

_"Don't kill me… Please! I-I'm pregnant! I have a husband! Please!"_

_A pang of guilt hit him. Could he really kill her? His piercing blue eyes focused on her, watching those tears fall from those soft, brown eyes. She pleaded again. He glared. She was covering for something! Had to be! No one could stop him, in reality! Then why couldn't he pull the god damn TRIGGER?!_

_Rufus growled suddenly, eyes becoming narrow. Damn her! She had to be lying… Yes. She was. Or she wouldn't be so upset over dying. Plain and simple. She had something to regret. Therefore, lying. He hated deception. A hand raised up to comb through his slicked back, blond hair. He calmed himself down, and smirked. _

_"Sorry, Miss." _

_The gunshot was loud, and rang in his ears several hours after, tormenting him. She really hadn't done anything. It wasn't necessary to kill her… Even if she did hear… She didn't need to die. He did all he could to distract his own mind from it all…_

He hated himself. It was really true. No matter what he did… He always saw deception in even the most honest of eyes. That's how he saw everything… He'd somehow loop it around, and demand the right to kill them. It wasn't any different with Tseng. Rude wasn't anything special… Elana, Hojou, Cloud, anyone!

… Until he met Reno. He couldn't… try to kill Reno. Just… the way when you knew when he was lying. You just… did. He had an open sort of deception… It was readable on his face. And the way his eyes met Rufus'… It made him stop. Think. What happened to him? Why couldn't he find a reason for him to just… die? He wanted him to die… but couldn't find any sort of reason!

They never really talked much. Maybe a casual hello in the hallways of the oversized Shinra building. Although, Rufus heard way too much of Reno… out in the halls at least. Like when Reno decided that the water dispenser in the Turk's lounge had it's final battle at him and furthermore almost electrocuted both himself and his partner. Those things were common.

_"You dirty whore! That is IT! That is the LAST time you're squirting me you son of a—" Out came the MagRod!! Rude blinked._

_"Uhh… Reno…? Reno!! RENO YOU MORON! NO!"_

_There was a scream, some electrocution noises, silence for a moment… and then an insane sounding laugh._

_"Ooh, man! If you had hair, dude… you'd … look like me… I guess… Stupid bastard water!!"_

_"Your own damn fault, Reno…" _

It was Reno's silence that affected Rufus the most. It allowed him to think about Reno. Think how different he was… He'd seen something truly horrible. And one day… he built up enough… whatever it was, to say something. Tell him that his silence was just flat out annoying--that he was flat out annoying! Reno only gave him the saddest smile the man had ever seen, and shook his head. Refusing to answer.

Then… strangest of things… Rufus and Reno never got along that well, but their bodies fit together just… perfect, as they later found. And for one of the first times in Rufus Shinra's life… he felt like there was something there. Something more to him than this cold outer shell. More than just the President of Shinra Inc. More than just… being a weapon to someone. He felt loved. Felt needed.

… And it scared the living hell out of him. Scared him so bad… He couldn't stand being around Reno… But at the same extent, he needed it. Like an addiction. His body craved Reno's as Reno's craved his.

… And that attachment drove Rufus to the edge. He'd never felt like that before about anyone. He was changing… letting people go, unpunished. Becoming more lax. He'd always been such a hardass and being around Reno… made him soft. Made him want to feel happy. It gave him a weakness. He'd finally realized it… Reno was important to him. He needed him.

Finally… Rufus Shinra found a reason for Reno to die. He'd become his weakness. Rufus Shinra wasn't allowed to have weaknesses.

That night… Rufus Shinra finally cried.


End file.
